There’s no better way to spice up your sex life in Long Beach then introducing a little uncertainty and excitement to your usual routine. Tina Turner was right: what’s love got to do with it? Under the right circumstances and a mutual understanding, a casual fling can relieve stress, improve your sex life, and provide you with just enough intimacy to keep you sane.
You may not be ready for a long-term relationship, but you’re not a nun either. The laws of attraction can be fickle, sudden, fleeting, and unforgiving. When you stumble on someone you share chemistry with, the timing might not be right for something serious, but a temporary, consenting relationship with well-defined boundaries could be the perfect compromise.
A fling is only as good as your exit strategy. That’s right. The whole point of a fling is that it doesn’t involve the emotional attachment or investment that the love of your life will (or did). A steamy fling with a hot co-worker or a tall dark stranger from abroad can turn into a one-way obsession or an awkward reminder that runs on repeat five days a week – if you don’t have an exit strategy well in place (or loosely, doesn’t matter) before you jump in the sack.
Long Beach is full of opportunities for cute and sexy singles to find the right fling partner, but if it’s your first time and you think you’re ready for some genuine, no strings adult fun, here’s an exit strategy you should follow for your next ‘fling’ operation:
Step 1: Don’t advertise you’re looking for a fling. This might seem obvious to some, but if you let everyone know you are looking for a fling, you’ll probably be confronted with a long list of the most undesirable candidates. They’ll all want to know who you chose and why you didn’t choose them. Discretion is critical to the successful execution of any good fling operation.
Step 2: Pick someone you can trust. Discretion, once again is crucial to the success of your fling. A fling’s not something you want advertised, especially if it happens with a co-worker or someone you see regularly among your associates. Pay attention to body language, signals, and observe his behavior with others for consistency. Make sure the person you choose values their privacy as much as you do, and make a formal commitment to each other to keep your liason on a need-to-know-basis only with friends and associates you share in common. Clearing this up with your potential partner-in-crime will save you embarrassing moments down the road.
Step 3. Research your potential partner. Even though your fling will be short-lived, you’ll still be sharing an intimate experience with another human being. It’s a good idea to find opportunities for probing your partner about their opinions, views, and background. The more you know about each other, the more comfortable you’ll feel opening up about your intentions.
Step 4. Express Your Intentions Directly. Once you’ve zoned in on a fling partner you trust, find a non-threatening, casual environment or a place that affords the maximum privacy to express your interest. Make your intentions clear about the kind of fling you want, especially what you don’t want.
Step 5. Listen. It sounds simple, but you really have to pay attention to your fling’s response. They may have doubts, they may have questions, or they may take time to come around to the idea. On the other hand, they might be a little too open and receptive to the idea, like someone with a lot of experience walking away from commitments. You don’t want to open yourself to a potentially abusive or demeaning situation. If you take the time to listen carefully to their reply, you may save yourself from either losing a valuable relationship or inviting more problems into your life.
Step 6. Set limits. Establishing rules of engagement is a good way to keep emotions from being incidentally hurt or offended. By setting a time frame (summer vacation, a work-visa expiry, internship) to the relationship, or a regular time for hook-ups (weekends only) you both benefit from controls which you can adjust at any time with mutual consent. If things take an interesting turn you can agree to see more of each other, and if your fling loses steam you can agree to formally end your agreement. By setting limits to your fling together, you’ll both feel better about the relationship, whether it reaches its natural conclusion or continues in new and exciting ways.
Step 7. Part ways with respect. Should your fling prove an experience that can’t be extended, don’t wait for the last minute to discuss the subject of your exit. Give your fling partner a friendly partner at least two weeks before your deadline. That’s more than enough time to consider the relationship and its direction for both of you. If your feelings don’t change by the deadline, you’ll feel more confident about your decision and better prepared to leave the past behind. Both of you will have fond memories you can cherish for a lifetime.